Confessions of a Broken Soul

Come, child, sit and tell me what’s wrong.

 

I’m not sure where to start

How much to impart

But the problem’s my heart

It just fell apart

 

Oh, show it to me. I’m sure we can mend it.

 

Here. See the duct tape

That keeps it in shape?

There’s some tie wrap too

It was all I could do

 

My, what a haphazard fix.

 

The missing parts

I replaced with these shards

It’s still broken in places

Bears irreparable traces

 

How did that happen, dear child?

 

Some vandals came in

Came screaming and bashing

Some lovers as well

But they were deterred by the smell

 

The smell of what?

 

The stench of a festering wound

Of dignity simply marooned

Of self-respect lost one day

In the thick of the fray

 

Well, then I’m sorry, my dear.

 

Why? Can’t you do anything?

Like a hymn for me sing

Or a telling of beads?

Do my sins outweigh my good deeds?

 

Your sins? Pray, what have you done?

 

I wasn’t careful enough

With myself I was rough

I sought pain above all

Made myself small

 

Blessed are the meek.

 

I was foolish in life

Naive when in strife

I was stupid and blind

To my enemies kind

 

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

 

But I let myself be abused

Injured and bruised

I never fought back

Opened myself to attack

 

Turn to them the other cheek also.

 

Don’t you see I was at fault?

That it was self-assault

How am I not to blame

For willingly bearing this shame?

 

Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will lift you up.

 

But look at this heart

It just fell apart

I’ve been losing control

Can’t you save some of my soul?

 

There is nothing to forgive where there is no guilt.

 

Then to hell with this faith

I’ll haunt the earth like a wraith

Until the day that I die

And my demise exposes your lie

 

What blasphemy, child. Ten pater nosters.

 

Thank you. At least now I know

This is nothing but show

In vain my sins I confessed

To you my vices expressed

 

Repeat after me. Our father, who art in heaven.

 

Will you look at this heart

It just fell apart

I wasn’t careful enough

With myself I was rough

 

Hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come.

 

I can’t bear to look at this heart

It just fell apart

I sought pain above all

Made myself small

 

Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.

 

Some vandals came in

 

Give us this day our daily bread.

 

Some lovers as well

 

And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

 

I was foolish in life

 

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

 

I was stupid and blind

 

Amen.

 

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2 thoughts on “Confessions of a Broken Soul

Add yours

  1. This was so moving. I had tears in my eyes! There are times in everyone’s life, I think, that someone we trust lets us down. It’s especially hard when that someone has faith AT us instead of listening to what we’re saying, and tries to comfort with things that don’t really make sense in the situation. And sometimes we can draw our own conclusions, too, which bring some small comfort.

    I have been the broken one, and I’m sure I’ve also been the one to offer platitudes.

    Thank you for capturing this so powerfully.

    Liked by 1 person

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